Top 10 Reasons Why People Don’t Reach Their Goals by Robert Chen

With everything that happens around us, it is sometimes difficult to reach our goals. This is compounded if you have any of the reasons on the list below.

Luckily, in addition to the top 10 reasons why people don’t reach their goals, I’ve included a quick fix for each of them. So let’s get to it.

1. Creating Vague Goals

When you don’t know where you are going, it is really hard to get there. Many people set themselves up for failure when they set goals that are unclear. “I want to lose weight” sounds like a great goal but the people who set this kind of goal will never reach it. It is not because the people are not motivated or disciplined but because the goal is too general. Do you want to lose 5 lbs or 50 lbs?

Quick Fix:  Set SMART goals by being Specific, making sure they are Measurable, Achievable and Realistic, and last but not least — give yourself a Time deadline. If you want to go one step further, you may want to read The Missing Letter in Your Smart Goals.

2. Lacking a Higher Purpose

Goals can be set on any topic imaginable but if you don’t have a higher purpose, it makes it is easy to give up once the initial motivation and excitement wears off. Understanding how your goal is relevant to you allows you to persevere even when the going gets tough.

Quick Fix: When setting your SMART goal, ask yourself how the goal is relevant to your life and what you want to achieve.

3. Procrastinating

Even when you have SMART goals that are relevant to your purpose, if you don’t get started, you’ll never achieve your goal. One of the most dangerous phrases is “I’ll do it later.”

Quick Fix: Make sure the goal has been broken down into manageable pieces and then start right away. Here are 11 Practical Ways to Stop Procrastination.

4. Not Taking Responsibility

Things will go wrong. That’s a fact of life. When something comes up and you don’t achieve your goal, who do you blame? Your boss who kept you at work late so you couldn’t work on your book or maybe the horrible weather that stopped you from going to the gym. If it’s not your fault, there is nothing you can do, right?

Quick Fix: Own up to not reaching your goals. When you take responsibility, you’ll become resourceful knowing that you have control over the attainment of your goals.

5. Listening to People Who Discourage You

When you go for your goals, especially the big ones that really count and fit in with your purpose in life, it is inevitable that people will discourage you. There are many reasons for this: concern, jealousy, ignorance, etc. How many goals have already been given up on because other people decided they were not worth pursuing?

Quick Fix: This one is easy. As long as you know the purpose for your goal, ignore the naysayers. You can take what they are saying into consideration but make sure you make the final choice.

6. Starting Too Many Projects

I’m a starter. That sounds like a good thing but not when you start too many things, you don’t end up finishing many of them. This usually stems from the fear of missing out (FOMO) or being someone who has many ideas.

Quick Fix: Understand that you have a limited amount of time and that you can’t do everything. To deal with FOMO, realize that by not finishing, you are missing out on all the opportunities that open up when you finish the projects you are working on.

7. Being Negative

If you think you’re not going to make it, then you’re probably not going to make it. If you don’t believe you’re going to reach your goal, then when you fail, it is expected which makes it easy to stop trying. When you are optimistic and a setback occurs, you focus your energy on finding solutions because you truly believe there is one. If you believe that you suffer from bad luck, check out this article.

Quick Fix: Consider the idea that optimism and pessimism are both expectations of the future. Each are equally likely to be true but which belief will help you lead a happier more fulfilled life? Instead of wasting your energy on complaining, spend that energy on learning.

8. Being Selfish

There are people out there that think it is silly to help others. They believe in taking and not giving. They are misers with their time, money and knowledge and are only interested in opportunities where they stand to benefit. Most big goals require the help of others and it is very difficult to help people who only care about taking.

Quick Fix: Serve others first. Always look for ways to add value to other people.

9. Surrounding Yourself with People Who Don’t Reach Their Goals

You are who you associate with. This may be hard to swallow for some people and there are always exceptions to the rule but for the most part, we act in accordance with the people around us. This comes from the strong ad natural desire to belong and to be accepted (think of all the dumb things you did in high school just to fit in).

Quick Fix: Associate with people who always reach their goals.

10. Watching Too Much TV

Not all TV is bad but if you are watching TV then most likely you are not doing anything to move one step closer to your goal. The problem with TV these days is that it is captivating. There are programs for all interests and hobbies and the shows keep getting better and better. Those who watch alot of TV usually don’t reach their goals and perhaps people watch TV because they don’t have any goals.

Quick Fix: Shut off the TV. Cancel the cable. Pick up a book that will help you move one step closer to your goal. Here are 6 Steps to Remove TV from your Life.

Do you have anything to add? What do you think are the reasons why people don’t reach their goals and what are your thought about the 10 reasons we have listed here. Feel free to give your own effective quick fixes for the different reasons in the comments section below

4 Simple Steps to Lift Your Dark Cloud of Stress by Lori Lynn Smith

 

Is there a dark cloud over your head?  Do you find it hard to get out from under the feeling of “always being behind the eight-ball?”  Do you want to see the sun again?  Do you want to feel contentment and happiness in your life?
The hustle and bustle of everyday life can really create a dark cloud over  (and even around) you. This dark cloud weights you down, it leaves you feeling “crazed” and always behind. This dark cloud can start impacting your health, happiness and relationships.
While I don’t believe that you can eliminate stress from your life completely, I do believe there is a lot more we can do to reduce it.  There is not a “one size fits all” solution either — you need to find the strategy that works best for you.  Maybe even combine one or more strategies together and make a game of it.
Here are some strategies that I use to help banish my daily stress. Give them a try…I believe you will find them to be very helpful:

1. Support Systems. If you’re constantly running on empty, your mind, body, and soul will suffer the repercussions of your tenacity. There’s no shame in asking for a helping hand. Sometimes, you’ll be able lean on a spouse, coworker, or friend, but other times you may have to hire help.  Start with having a discussion with your partner or family and see if you can brainstorm a way to share the chores around the house. Even just taking turns cooking dinner is helpful.

1. Self Care. What do you enjoy doing? Knitting, relaxing in a bubble bath, drawing, lounging in bed watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy? Indulge yourself in your favorite restful activity a few times each week. Carving out a few hours each weekend to indulge in your favorite lazy activity. Choose at least one weeknight to relax after work. Start with a walk outside. I know you might need your sunglasses because you have been under that dark cloud for so long. But trust me — there is sunshine, fresh air, beautiful things to look at out there!

1. Simplify life. Simplify your routines, your commitments, your information intake, your cluttered rooms, and have less stress as a result.  Identify those things that are most important in your life…and then get rid of the rest.  It may not be quite that easy, but you can certainly start somewhere with this idea.  Think of just one thing that has been bothering you that you can remove and do it.  Once you start with one, you will see a ray of sunlight.

1. Meditation. With meditation we can learn to transform our minds from chaos to calm. And it is really not as hard as you might think. My favourite meditation is a “Breathing Meditation”. It is simple and you can do it anywhere. Sit in any comfortable position, with your eyes partially closed. Now breathe. Just breathe normally through your nose. Notice how your body moves and what the air feels like. If your mind wanders, just bring it back to your breath. Even just practicing this for two minutes a day will add another ray of sunlight. (If you’re looking for a more in-depth look at meditation, check out Lifehack’s Mindfulness Meditation Mini Guide.)

Sometime stress seems like it is a normal part of life, but it doesn’t have to be that way if you’re willing to put your sanity and happiness first. Most of the time there’s a simple fix to the challenges that are causing you stress. Simply adjust the way you perceive the issues and how you address them.
Small simple steps on a daily basis will create a huge momentum in your life and you will feel the dark clouds life away and the warm breath of the sunshine on your skin.

10 Ways to Get Rich

10 Ways to Get Rich Warren Buffett's secrets that can work for you

With an estimated fortune of $62 billion, Warren Buffett is the richest man in the entire

world. In 1962, when he began buying stock in Berkshire Hathaway, a share cost $7.50.

Today, Buffett, 78, is Berkshire’s chairman and CEO, and one share of the company’s

class A stock is worth close to $119,000. He credits his astonishing success to several key

strategies, which he has shared with writer Alice Schroeder. She spent hundreds of hours

interviewing the Sage of Omaha for the new authorized biography The Snowball.

1. REINVEST YOUR PROFITS

When you first make money, you may be tempted to spend it. Don’t. Instead, reinvest the

profits. Buffett learned this early on. In high school, he and a pal bought a pinball machine

to put in a barbershop. With the money they earned, they bought more machines until they

had eight in different shops. When the friends sold the venture, Buffett used the proceeds

to buy stocks and to start another small business. By age 26, he’d amassed $174,000 - or

$1.4 million in today’s money. Even a small sum can turn into great wealth.

2. BE WILLING TO BE DIFFERENT

Don’t base your decisions upon what everyone is saying or doing. When Buffett began

managing money in 1956 with $100,000 cobbled together from a handful of investors, he

was dubbed an oddball. He worked in Omaha, not on Wall Street, and he refused to tell his

partners where he was putting their money. People predicted that he’d fail, but when he

closed his partnership 14 years later, it was worth more than $100 million. Instead of

following the crowd, he looked for undervalued investments and ended up vastly beating

the market average every single year. To Buffett, the average is just that - what everybody

else is doing. To be above average, you need to measure yourself by what he calls the

Inner Scorecard, judging yourself by your own standards and not the world’s.

3. NEVER SUCK YOUR THUMB

Gather in advance any information you need to make a decision, and ask a friend or

relative to make sure that you stick to a deadline. Buffett prides himself on swiftly making

up his mind and acting on it. He calls any unnecessary sitting and thinking “thumbsucking.” When people offer him a business or an investment, he says, “I won’t talk unless

they bring me a price.” He gives them an answer on the spot.

4. SPELL OUT THE DEAL BEFORE YOU START

Your bargaining leverage is always greatest before you begin a job - that’s when you have

something to offer that the other party wants. Buffett learned this lesson the hard way as a

kid, when his grandfather Ernest hired him and a friend to dig out the family grocery store

after a blizzard. The boys spent five hours shoveling until they could barely straighten their

frozen hands. Afterward, his grandfather gave the pair less than 90 cents to split. Buffett

was horrified that he performed such backbreaking work only to earn pennies an hour.

Always nail down the specifics of a deal in advance - even with your friends and relatives.

5. WATCH SMALL EXPENSES

Buffett invests in businesses run by managers who obsess over the tiniest costs. He once

acquired a company whose owner counted the sheets in rolls of 500-sheet toilet paper to

see if he was being cheated (he was). He also admired a friend who painted only the side

of his office building that faced the road. Exercising vigilance over every expense can

make your profits - and your paycheck - go much further.

6. LIMIT WHAT YOU BORROW

Living on credit cards and loans won’t make you rich. Buffett has never borrowed a

significant amount - not to invest, not for a mortgage. He has gotten many heartrending

letters from people who thought their borrowing was manageable but became

overwhelmed by debt. His advice: Negotiate with creditors to pay what you can. Then,

when you’re debt-free, work on saving some money that you can use to invest.

7. BE PERSISTENT

With tenacity and ingenuity, you can win against a more established competitor. Buffett

acquired the Nebraska Furniture Mart in 1983 because he liked the way its founder, Rose

Blumkin, did business. A Russian immigrant, she built the mart from a pawnshop into the

largest furniture store in North America. Her strategy was to undersell the big shots, and

she was a merciless negotiator. To Buffett, Rose embodied the unwavering courage that

makes a winner out of an underdog.

8. KNOW WHEN TO QUIT

Once, when Buffett was a teen, he went to the racetrack. He bet on a race and lost. To

recoup his funds, he bet on another race. He lost again, leaving him with close to nothing.

He felt sick - he had squandered nearly a week’s earnings. Buffett never repeated that

mistake. Know when to walk away from a loss, and don’t let anxiety fool you into trying

again.

9. ASSESS THE RISKS

In 1995, the employer of Buffett’s son, Howie, was accused by the FBI of price-fixing.

Buffett advised Howie to imagine the worst - and best - case scenarios if he stayed with

the company. His son quickly realized that the risks of staying far outweighed any potential

gains, and he quit the next day. Asking yourself “and then what?” can help you see all of

the possible consequences when you’re struggling to make a decision - and can guide you

to the smartest choice.

10. KNOW WHAT SUCCESS REALLY MEANS

Despite his wealth, Buffett does not measure success by dollars. In 2006, he pledged to

give away almost his entire fortune to charities, primarily the Bill and Melinda Gates

Foundation. He's adamant about not funding monuments to himself - no Warren Buffett

buildings or halls. "I know people who have a lot of money," he says, "and they get

testimonial dinners and hospital wings named after them. But the truth is that nobody in the

world loves them. When you get to my age, you'll measure your success in life by how

many of the people you want to have love you actually do love you. That's the ultimate test

of how you've lived your life."

Think less and become more conservative

The less time or mental effort a person puts into thinking about an issue, the more likely they are to espouse a politically conservative perspective. That's according to a new study by Scott Eidelman and his team, who stress that their point is "not that conservatives rely on low effort thought" but that "low effort thinking promotes political conservatism".

Across four studies, the researchers examined the effects on political attitudes of four different ways of reducing mental effort. This included: surveying drinkers at varying degrees of intoxication at a local bar; allocating some participants to a dual-task condition where they had to keep track of auditory tones at the same time as registering their political attitudes; allocating some participants to a time-pressured situation, in which they had to rate their agreement with different political statements at fast as possible; and finally, giving some participants the simple instruction to respond to political statements without thinking too hard. 

The results were consistent across the studies - being more drunk, being distracted by a secondary task, answering under time pressure and answering without thinking, all led participants to agree more strongly with politically conservative beliefs, such as "A first consideration of any society is the protection of property rights" and "Production and trade should be free of government interference." Agreement with liberal beliefs were either reduced or unaffected by the measures. The researchers checked and the effects they observed were not due to differences in the complexity of the statements used to measure political conservatism and liberalism, nor were they due to changes in mood or frustration associated with the interventions. 

The finding that reduced mental effort encourages more conservative beliefs fits with prior research suggesting that attributions of personal responsibility (versus recognising the influence of situational factors), acceptance of hierarchy and preference for the status quo - all of which may be considered hallmarks of conservative belief - come naturally and automatically to most people, at least in western societies.

"Our findings suggest that conservative ways of thinking are basic, normal, and perhaps natural," the researchers concluded. "Motivational factors are crucial determinants of ideology, aiding or correcting initial responses depending on one's goals, beliefs, and values. Our perspective suggests that these initial and uncorrected responses lean conservative."

What do kids know about wisdom?

A wise person once said that intelligence is knowing that tomatoes are a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to put them in fruit salad. You might have a different idea about what constitutes wisdom. When adults are asked what wisdom is, their answers tend to fall into five recurring categories: a cognitive component based around intelligence; insight (the ability to find original solutions); a reflective attitude; concern for others; and real-world problem-solving skills.

But before now, no-one has investigated what children understand by wisdom and how this changes as they get older. Judith Glück and her colleagues have surveyed 461 children (aged six to ten years) at two schools in rural Austria. Ideas about wisdom are obviously prone to cultural variation, but these new findings provide us with some useful initial clues as to how children think about this slippery concept.

The children were asked a mixture of closed and open-ended questions. For example, they were asked to write a few lines on what a wise person is like and they also read a list of 23 adjectives, indicating which ones applied to a typical wise person.

Overall, just over 70 per cent of the kids said they knew the term "wisdom", rising from 43 per cent of the youngest to 92 per cent of the oldest year group. The majority of the children said they'd encountered the term in books, in conversations at home and in TV shows or films.

In contrast to adults, these children tended to focus mostly on the outward aspects of wisdom - especially cleverness (fluid intelligence, rather than concrete knowledge), and concern for others. There was an association with age here - all the children tended to mention the social aspect of wisdom, but a far greater proportion of the older than younger children mentioned the intelligent aspect. Older children were also more likely to link wisdom with older-age. Unfortunately the paper provides few examples of the kind of open-ended answers given by the children, despite the teasing title of the article.

More internal or abstract aspects of wisdom were apparently rarely mentioned by the children, including: having a reflective attitude, solving problems with original insight; having real-world problem-solving skills; and perspective taking. "Presumably such aspects are not yet part of the spontaneous 'psychological repertoire' of children at this age," the researchers said.

Unsurprisingly, given that it prompted them, the children's understanding of wisdom was more precocious when using the adjective list, with the children tending to tick items like "pensive" and "sensitive", as well as terms like "friendly" and "clever", which they'd mentioned in their open-ended answers.

Asked to name a wise person, the children were extremely generous, most often mentioning a grand-parent or a parent. Religious figures or figures from the media were rarely mentioned. The children showed a gender bias in their nominations, with boys being more likely to name male figures and girls being more likely to name females. Boys were also more likely to identify wise people as "astute" and girls to identify them as "beautiful" - perhaps a consequence of gender-stereotypes in the kind of media they were exposed to.

"We conclude from our findings that a basic understanding of the concept of wisdom is developed in and even before the elementary school years," the researchers said. "However, especially the more complex aspects of the concept get much more differentiated in subsequent development.

@ 13 Tips To Face Your Fear and Enjoy the Ride::

Everyone is afraid. I am, you are, everyone is! The only difference between you and the successful people you admire is that they are willing to work and move through their fears in order to get where they want to be.

If you don’t learn how to face your fear it will grip your mind, body, and spirit. It will wage a war against you and your dreams. Know this need not be. Once you understand how you can dissipate fear, it shrinks and is no longer a threat.

The next time you’re in a scary place try the following exercises.

1. Journal your fears

Write about your fear and its origin. How has it held you back in the past? Set aside time and without judgment, reflect on what you’ve written. You gain insight and loosen fears grip by observing it. When you write down your fear, fear loses its power over you.

2. Lean into your fear

Do the things that frighten you. Take one small step, then another. Action builds courage. Tell yourself, “This fear will pass.” Your world expands as your courage and willingness to grow expands. Open up your world, today to face your fear.

3. Relax your body

Unclench your jaw, soften your forehead, open your fists, slow down your pounding heart, and breathe. Take mini relaxation breaks throughout your day. Learn to live in a relaxed state.

4. Journal your past success

We tend to beat ourselves up when we fail and fail to celebrate when we succeed. Strengthen your belief in yourself by reflecting on each decade of your life and every success you’ve experienced. You can begin as early as age five when you learned how to ride a bike. Write it all down. You’ll be inspired, motivated and amazed by your list and how and can be used to face your fear.

5. Stop your story

Fear is an illusion. We make up frightening stories about our past and our future and rehearse them until we are terrified. Our stories are often about the pain of the past or the fear of the future. Change the fearful stories you tell yourself. You can find safety by learning to live in the present moment. You always have the option to create new stories filled with positive expectations of the future.

6. Laugh at your fear

Make fun of your fear by laughing at it. Really let it rip. Try and see how silly it is to hold back and give your power away to something that isn’t real!

7. Dwell on abundance

Learn to think, speak, and live as an abundant person to face your fear. Stop paying attention to all forms of negative media. Celebrate your life. Be generous. Give. Donate. Share.

8. Live vicariously

Study the success of Victor Frankl, Steve Jobs, Southwest Airlines, J.K. Rowling and other greats. Take note of their bold lifestyle and follow their path to greatness.

9. Believe in yourself

Focus your attention on being ready, willing, and prepared for the success, joy, wonder, connections, good fortune, and awesome circumstances that are yours if you are willing to work and be open to it. You deserve the best no matter what. Accept that fact about yourself.

10. Learn something new

Do you lack information or direction? Develop your intuition. Get a mentor. Join Toastmasters. Be a life-long learner. Give it your all. Burn the midnight oil. Take action on what you learn. Fear fades in an environment of this kind.

11. Take your fear and shove it

Let go of looking stupid, feeling embarrassed, being ignored and facing rejection or failure. Accept failure as a part of life. Get through it and get over it.

12. Help others

Give to the beginners. Be a good leader. Take others with you and help them succeed as well. What would life be like if we believed in, “All for one, and one for all?” We all want the same things in life. Let’s help each other move ahead.

13. View life as a creative and wild adventure

Life can be brimming with good times of beauty and adventure or overwhelming with challenge and tragedy. Choose to stay present and breathe through it all. Be grateful for the varied landscape, hold onto your hat, and enjoy the ride.

by Tess Marshall